1. You should always make an effort to look effortless. Except on Saturday nights, when you should paint your lips red or pink or any other color than the color that they actually are.
2. Buy things you can't afford to impress people you can't tolerate. Buy things that will make you more feminine. You should like things that are trending on twitter, dislike things that are trending on twitter. And if you feel the need to define yourself as someone who detests the mainstream culture, then please, dislike ALL things. Agency is for people with identity - which is so not vogue.
3. You should be hairless. Fight your body's natural response to grow hair. Except the hair on your head which should be long, and done up nicely each day.
4. You should be independently dependent. Be careful. Too much independence and they will label you a bitch. Too much dependance and they will label you needy. Femininity walks fine lines, and balancing these should be your charm.
5. You don't bleed. Never speak of this horrific natural event. Ever.
6. You should be 0% body fat. Your ribcage is beautiful and skeletal and is the only way anyone will ever love you. If you must eat something high in fat/calories/carbs/what-the-fuck-ever make sure you preface it with something like: "I'll burn this off with cardio later..." or "I never do this, but today..." Excuses made for BigMacs are the only way to make them sexy.
7. Your clothes should show enough skin to initiate interest, but not so much skin that you give all of your bits away. Here is this fine line we were talking about. Unless it is a Saturday night, then it all SHOULD hang out. This same skin should be tanned and blemish free and stretched tightly over your collarbones and ribcage.
8. Pretend to be inferior. Pretend so much that you know you will never be superior. Be your own worst critic and you will never reach satisfaction. You don't deserve satisfaction. You can always be better.
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